Friday, February 19, 2016

Please Don't Panic...but I'm Feeling the Bern

Atlanta, GA – The Junior Senator from Vermont, Bernie Sanders is running for president as a socialist who can’t comb his hair.
He wants to soak the billionaires and the “fat cats,” and doesn’t care that American greatness was built in large part on capitalism. He wants to tax the rich, despite studies showing that taxing the rich won’t actually help America. He wants to make college free for all, even though there is no way to pay for that.
This litany of reasons has been touted over and over again both by conservatives and liberals as reasons why Senator Sanders will never be president. They say he is too old, too out of touch, too nuts to ever be elected. And yet…and yet. Something is happening. Across the nation, a movement has risen from the college campuses of America, from young people who are sick and tired of the status quo, and are ready to try anything to make it better; even someone that, according to popular wisdom, can’t win.
Sanders came within one delegate of taking Iowa, and then took New Hampshire. He has narrowed Hillary Clinton’s lead nationally, and claims that he can take it all.
There are even a few things to like about him. He understands that we need to get rid of the “too big to fail banks,” he understands that college ought to be more affordable, (although he isn’t going about it the right way), and he understands that it isn’t the Federal Government’s job to tell states they can’t legalize marijuana.
But that isn’t Sander’s greatest strength. His greatest strength is that he really believes the stuff he “believes.” Hillary Clinton has gone farther and farther to the left in the last forty years; she once was against gay marriage, but ran after popular opinion to make herself “relevant; she once was against a higher minimum wage of twelve bucks and hour, but now is supporting it. But Senator Sanders is different, right, wrong, crazy, he believes the things that come out of his mouth, and probably would rather, in the old fashioned way, rather be "right" than be president.
For these reasons, I am announcing my support of him for the Democratic Nomination. He might not win it, but if he did, we would at last have a Democrat who represents the party’s base.
And, Republicans would once again take the White House, because the rest of Senator Sander’s platform is such a load of donkey manure that the GOP would carry forty-nine states against him.

Andrew C. Abbott

1 comment:

  1. Haha, love it. But you make good points, especially considering the recent poll showing that Sanders is far more trusted than Hillary.