The Cruz Kazoo



GOP Nominee Hopeful, Ted Cruz, Sen. R.-TX

Austin TX- Ted Cruz, the Jr. Senator from Texas and a candidate for the GOP Nomination for President says his first memory, is as a young child, blowing a kazoo in the supermarket. His mother, having a lot on her mind told him to stop the racket. He wouldn’t do it. She warned him again, but he kept right on blowing loudly and making a noise. She took the young Ted Cruz home and spanked him.


Fast forwarding now to the present day and not much has changed. Cruz still will not be quiet, despite many people asking him to keep it down.

Take for example, the very book that the anecdote about the kazoo is taken from. Entitled A Time for Truth, it is the usual book of a modern Republican candidate running for the nomination. He tells his story about his life, attempting, (with some limited success) to remain humorous while at the same time portray (in Cruz case truthfully) his story as one of rags to riches. Then later in the book he lays out his plans for what he would do if he were to gain the Oval Office, while making the obligatory references to how good Republicans are, how bad Democrats are, and how much he loves Reagan.

On the face Cruz’s book does not seem to be anything of note. Its Political Pulp writing, books cranked out every four years by everyone who is running for president, or sometimes even by those running for senate. That is to say, there wouldn’t be a story here if the author of the book were not Ted Cruz, the man who has filibustered for more than twenty hours on the floor of the senate, the man who publicly challenges people from all corners of the political spectrum, and consistently bucks the leadership of his own party.

So of course, Ted Cruz, someone who even his own party members call a “Wacko Bird” and who has received flack about everything from making a joke about Vice President Joe Biden right after his son died to his “disrespect” of leadership, when Cruz writes a book, it’s going to be controversial, and it was. The New York Times refused to put Cruz’s book A Time For Truth on its bestseller’s list, saying that Cruz had bulk-purchased it to make the sales look like they were something more than they were.

That ignited a firestorm, with Times saying they were trying to be true to their standards, and many conservatives saying they were simply hating on Cruz.

After much fighting, Times finally put the book on its list, although they did not admit any wrong doing. Cruz’s book came onto the list in seventh place, although he had earlier argued it should be in third.

But of course, all of the controversy is not hurting the Republican from Texas. Right-wing Americans historically don’t trust the mainstream media anyway, and many really don’t like the most revered newspaper in our history, The New York Times. What is hurting Cruz, many insiders agree, is Donald Trump.

Not only is Trump taking away the air from all the serious Republicans in the field, he is also taking the position as the party loudmouth, for better or for worse, and for Cruz, it is for worse. For while Cruz, a Latino himself, of course disagrees with Trump’s racist and ignorant comments, it also means that Cruz cannot hold the title as the party’s maverick, or as the “Wacko Bird.”

Cruz is doing better these days in raising money than many thought he would, but he still is polling at the bottom of the pack of serious contenders, in 8^th place at just over 5%. However, for the madman of the Republican party there is one glimmer of hope.

In this packed field, Trump has already shown that screaming your head, no matter how stupid the stuff you are screaming is, it will get you attention and cause your poll numbers to rise.

There is certainly no question Cruz knows how to make a loud noise, just ask his mother. And so, going into the debates, which Cruz will certainly be getting into, his best bet is to try and get himself noticed, and start going wild. It probably won’t help him in the long run, in fact it will probably hurt him, unless he is able to make such a noise he wins Iowa, steals New Hampshire, and then just runs away with it. At the moment there doesn’t seem to be much chance for Cruz in that alley. But the guy has been counted out before, and Trump is already showing that making really, really loud noises helps in the nomination process. So in other words, when he comes to the GOP Debates, Cruz needs to bring along his kazoo.

Andrew C. Abbott

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